C'moan ya ba'as. See they feart folk wi' bag's ay plooms?
Oo'll batter th' soor bastard English or oo'll git a beamer.*
By Friday morning, it will all be over. I've been listening to this with equal joy and melancholy. Its utterly incomprehensible lyrics perfectly reflect the tangle in my heart.
I was born in Edinburgh and went back to Scotland most summers as I was growing up. My year there at school was by far the happiest of my silly education and I still see the friends I made there.
I see most of them because they, too, no longer live in Scotland.
It's rather interesting that my extensive weeks of questioning have revealed two distinct camps:
1. Expat Scots who say 'No'
They feel that leaving the union would be hasty, imprudent, bad-mannered and economic suicide.
2. English Folk who live in Scotland and say 'YES! YES! YES!'
They are full of wind and whisky and feel it's time the Scots had charge of their own affairs. It is beyond annoying to the expat Scots that this camp get a vote and the first do not.
There are also some Scots who live in Scotland who have always referred to me as 'that forrin lassie' and who hate the English with a breathtaking vociferousness that Camp 2 must surely be aware of. They have not responded to my questions, but are posting lots of misty photos of heather-coated wilderness and themselves skirling about in tartan.
I am blaming my advancing years. but the impending vote has reduced me to hot-eyed lumpy throatedness. Today, I bought a huge expensive armful of grey-blue thistles that reflect my current spiky fragile mood of fierce nostalgia.
I want us to stay together. Nobody north of the border gives a stuff what I think.
*Look, there are our neighbours. Let us give chase, for they have fruit. Our honour is at stake.