"He's in the attic!"

Thursday, 4 February 2010

"Sweet baby Jesus, say it ain't so." "Yup, gals, 'fraid Ah have it on the best authoridee." "No! Those college-type fellas that blahg about fancy clothes dress like that?" "Shore do, hun." "Why, Ah jest feel so cheap."

Two words: Dorian Gray
Two more: don't bother.

As the bots say, hijus.

Ben Chaplin delivered the perfomance of a Mme Tussaud escapee, but with less range. Colin Firth, popping in from Improbable Pointy Beard land en route to the lockjaw doctor, delivered every line as though he had the runs and needed urgently to dash off set. With smirking. As for the rest of the stellar British line-up, all completely forgettable, apart from Rebecca Hall inexplicably reprising her role in the lovely Starter for 10, contemporary sneer, Doc Martens and ciggie included.

The dog rather enjoyed the special effects.

It did, however, set us up perfectly for the amazing Up in the Air. Do see it, whatever you do, and especially if, at the moment, you feel you don't do much. It was thought-provoking and impeccably acted and just went to show that all the usual British suspects plus fabulous costume department do not a watchable film make without a half-way decent script and some commitment.

Also, if someone who smells stale and looks shiny creeps out of a cinema doorway and offers you free tickets for Have You Heard About the Morgans, run away fast as you can, screaming at the top of your lungs till you find a policeman or a nice family to look after you.


  1. Bloody hell, it's Barry Norman! Marvellous!Will scribble down your recommendations. Colin Firth has never done it for me, so your guidance is fabulous. Think I will have a nightcap. Join me?

  2. "the perfomance of a Mme Tussaud escapee, but with less range" - perfection!

  3. Trish, how annoying, I had an early night. Might pop a Friday sharpner in my coffee (kidding, Constable). What, not even wet white shirt moment??

    Stephanie - thanks!

  4. I am savouring the image of Colin Firth on his way to the lockjaw doctor - still snickering. I also had the misfortune to see DG - no tickets left for whatever girlie movie we wanted to see, and it was a toss-up between going home or choosing something else. We chose badly. Funniest, snort-out-loud bit was the 'orgy' montage scene, which, with all Chaplin's hair-tossing, was basically an extended shampoo advert. He DOES have super hair, though.

  5. It is SUPER hair, yes. I watched the blood-letting, sadomasochistic, virgin despoiling orgies wondering if there was any lasagne left.

    Mind you, we've all done THAT.

  6. Every day after hours of toiling in the salt mine I call my profession and finally driving home in the old brownish snow and minus fifteen temperatures of Montreal, I rush to your blog for my fix of british humour. I am never disappointed and envy the ease with which you make fun of everything and everyone. Please continue lest I go into severe withdrawal.

  7. I can't stand it. You make me tear-up with laughter.

    Must relate two VERY urgent messages/bulletins to you:

    1.) Cherie is on the closet case. Hang in there. Edith and I have plans as well.

    2.) I just nominated you as president of James' fan club. It hasn't been formally created as of yet, and I requested to be an officer, but wanted all responsibilities, mailings, details, budget, etc. to be on your shoulders. You seem much more organized than I am.

    I fully realize this is un peu outrageous on my part and of course you can decline or resign. It was only a suggestion.I just wanted you to know you have my vote and I'm willing to handle your campaign if asked.

    James has not accepted or refused to date. He's had the proposal in hand approximately one hour.


  8. Joelle - why weren't you my teacher?? That's sooo close to what all my reports used to say, apart from the word 'not.'

    Tish - Tell her to get an arse on, have had to dress myself for two netball matches this weekend.

    2. Is there drink involved?

    I suspect James is having a long lie down. xxxx


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